A particular incident on the train today gave me a lot to think about, and I’d like to share it with you.
While commuting this evening, I noticed a group of people chatting loudly, seemingly having fun but peppering their conversation with harsh gossip about others. Seeing such groups used to intimidate me. I would shrink inwards, thinking that the people speaking were somehow superior and that I was just a flawed, inferior person who might be their next target.
A Shift in Perspective
But today was different. As I listened (not by choice—trains can be loud!), I realized something. Their words didn’t carry the weight they used to. Instead of feeling small, I sensed a darker, almost unpleasant energy coming from them. It hit me: why would I ever want the approval of people who seem so focused on negativity?
In the past, I thought being accepted by such people would make me feel more worthy. But that was a misconception. The truth is, those who make a habit of criticizing others aren’t likely to stop—they’re always searching for their next subject. It’s not about me or anyone else; it’s about them.
Choosing Better Role Models
This realization has made me more intentional about who I look up to. I find people who show kindness and empathy, even in challenging situations, to be much more inspiring and admirable. They may see what others call “flaws” but choose to offer understanding and constructive perspectives instead of tearing others down.
I’ve also learned that life is too short to spend time worrying about pleasing everyone or trying to fit into the mold of someone else’s expectations. It’s okay to prioritize the relationships and connections that genuinely uplift you. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire you to be your best self is one of the most empowering decisions you can make.
People-Pleasing Isn’t All Bad
I often hear people say they want to stop being “people pleasers.” While I understand the sentiment, I think we should recognize it as a skill too. The ability to bring comfort and positivity to others is valuable, and far better than spreading negativity. If you’re a people pleaser, don’t despair—it’s a quality that can be honed to balance your needs with the desire to help others.
My Takeaway
Journaling has helped me process these thoughts and see my growth over time. Writing down these reflections allows me to clarify my values and remind myself of the kind of person I want to be: someone who uplifts, not someone who tears down.
So next time you encounter negativity—whether it’s on a train, in the office, or anywhere else—remember: you don’t have to shrink or feel the need to fit in with them. Instead, focus on becoming the kind of person you admire and connect with those who do the same. Life is too short to do otherwise.
What do you think? Have you had similar experiences? Let me know in the comments—your stories inspire me too. 😊
About Me: Hi, I’m Evolving Mind. Through this blog, I share my journey of self-discovery and mental well-being. Journaling has been a powerful tool for me, and I hope to inspire others to find their own path to peace and clarity.
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